By Tricia Berwick
Between picking up the kids, making dinner, paying the bills, and cleaning up around the house, who has time for setting up dates with your spouse? Even though your time and finances may be limited, it’s important to “schedule” time with your mate, just as you would any other activity. Making time for each other away from the children and all of the stresses involved with daily life is extremely important and beneficial for your marriage and family life. Kids love to see their parents happy, in love and together. The only way the love you experienced from your dating days will last, is if you and your partner take the time to date one another.
If money isn’t an issue and you can afford to head out of the house, arrange for a babysitter to come and sit with the kids. Grandparents are usually always willing to help out and appreciate time with the grandkids. Or ask the child’s aunt or uncle to assist you. If you don’t have family nearby, maybe you could swap babysitting with some good friends in the neighborhood. Choose a restaurant that doesn’t feature kids’ menus, crayons, and strolling clowns with balloons. Since you have the time alone without the kids in tow, splurge for a romantic, candlelight dinner and enjoy some different foods instead of the normal fare of chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. If you happen to sit near a few little creatures, change tables right away! This is your night not to hear whines, cries, “I need to go potty!” and have food flicked in your face. So, by all means, move away from the danger zone and don’t feel guilty about it!
If dinner is too expensive, try eating out for breakfast which will definitely save you a few dollars. Or just go out for a light lunch instead. Look for coupons in your local newspaper or online to offset the cost. Many times, restaurants offer a 2-for-1 deal which will significantly reduce your bill.
After dinner, try an activity that you used to enjoy pre-kids. Maybe you want to lace up your skates and go for a few whirls at your nearest ice rink. Or perhaps catch a movie that is doesn’t feature a million Disney characters and is rated “G.” Try a museum that is geared for adults and doesn’t have dress-up clothes. Or bowl a game or two for some exercise. If you really want to be adventurous and daring, sign up for lessons together. Check out your township’s recreation department and see if they have something you might be interested in. For example, Howell Township Parks and Recreation offers ballroom dancing lessons for couples. The cost is only $50 for six hour-long lessons which is very reasonable. This would be a great opportunity to learn a new skill and to get some exercise while having fun and enjoying a few laughs together. Participating in this type of activity will really regain that emotional connection you once enjoyed with your mate.
If you’re trying not to break the bank on your date night, stroll around a local bookstore, grab a cup of coffee and talk about some of the interesting tidbits you just read. If you would
rather be outdoors, plan an all-day hike or simply go for a walk or a bike ride together. The important thing is to have a conversation and while some discussion of the kids is expected and allowed, try and keep it to a minimum.
If you really need to watch your pennies, put the kids to bed early and have your own date night in the comfort of your own home. Feed the kids their supper, but then after their eyes close for the night, cook up a romantic dinner in the kitchen. Open a bottle of wine, set the dining room table with your china (which you probably don’t use much), and get dressed up for dinner. Treat it as a formal night out, just in your home. If you enjoy making desserts more, have a baking date night. Look through recipes and make some sweet treats together. If gourmet cooking isn’t your style, stay casual and create an indoor picnic. Get out your basket, spread out a blanket on the floor and enjoy your “picnic food” of sandwiches and salads. Play some romantic music in the background and have fun creating either a meal or dessert together.
As for entertainment, you could play a game together such as Trivial Pursuit or one of the new DVD games which test your knowledge of your favorite shows. Maybe you want to take out a classic board game like Monopoly. Or rent a movie you missed in the theatre. Do you have a project you need to work on, but can’t really do it with the kids around? Go through your photo albums together while the kids are asleep or make a memory book of your family.
If finding a babysitter is just too difficult and you would like to actually leave the house for your date, see if there’s a drive-in movie theatre near your home (driveinmovie.com). Have the whole family wear their pajamas and bring sleeping bags or blankets. The kids can watch the show from the front seat while you and your spouse hold hands and cuddle in the back. The kids will love the atmosphere and you will still enjoy the experience of a romantic date.
It’s true that we’re all busy running around from one activity to the next. There are many responsibilities and tasks to be completed in the average day. However, it’s also important to allow some down-time for you and your spouse to reconnect with each other. Make your relationship a priority and plan a date night for this evening. It doesn’t matter if it’s expensive or free. The important thing is to schedule into your life. There are many ideas to choose from, so no more excuses. Just get creative and start planning!
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